New post on my blog :)
I wake up this morning, an hour too early. The dawn lays like a whisper over the day, the grey of early morning hugs us with a gentle hush before the shout of sunshine.
I am still shrouded in the fog of nighttime. My body is heavy, my limbs are relaxed. I want to go back to sleep, want to drift back for one more hour of sweet darkness before getting up to start my day. I close my eyes, try to find the place in my consciousness where I can slip away, unnoticed by my self.
But it is in this moment that I am struck into awareness, into awake-ness, because it is in this quiet moment, when everyone else and the world is still asleep, that I can feel my reality. The simplicity of it. The sweetness of it. The comfort of his steady breath, the gentle sway of blanket as his chest rises and then falls. I want to go to sleep, but I don’t. I can’t, because I might miss it. In a rush of clarity, I suddenly understand the words that once sounded cliché and overplayed. Don’t wanna fall asleep ’cause I’d miss you baby. And I don’t want to miss it, this moment when the pleasure of this warmth, the bliss of this reality is too much for me to bear, too intense for me to sleep it all away. And so I lay, awake, my eyes closed, breathing in, breathing out. My lungs swell, my heart squeezes in my chest, salty-sweet tears well up in my eyes and I am here. I am here and I am awake and he is here and he is sleeping and it is so right.
One of these mornings I will sleep again. My reality will settle like a down duvet and I will rest in the comfort and the ease of it.
But today. Today I am awake so I can feel it.
Today I am a girl in love.